Always Give (Women) the Opportunity

International Women’s Day is Monday! And in its spirit, I wanted to share an inclusion lesson I learned years ago, from my beloved former-boss, current-coach, and always-friend Annmarie. Always give women the opportunity.

At the time of this mini-story, I had worked for Annmarie for three years and across two companies. I had recently relocated to Boston for the job. I was just finding my footing and a home there, as well as momentum and pleasure in my job itself.

So things were good! And then one day Annmarie asked, “Are you interested in a new opportunity?”

Well, given that my “hobby” is self-improvement (according to my husband – ha!), of course I wanted to hear about a new opportunity. Always! And then she shared the details.

I don’t recall if it was technically a lateral move or a promotion, but it was a management position in a different department. And it was in Salem, Virginia.

So I did what you’d expect: asked questions, took in the details, and talked to friends. After all, I’m nearly always up for a new challenge!

But then days later, I returned to her and said, “Thank you for considering me – and please bring me more opportunities in the future! But no, thank you. I enjoy my business development job for now; and I don’t want to move to southern Virginia. In fact, I have my career sights set on something a little more global…”

She remained silent, kind of slyly smiled, and then gently replied, “I know. I figured that’s what you’d say. But I never want to not present one of my people with an opportunity.”

I’ve thought about this statement so much over the past decade. And although she didn’t explicitly say it at the time, Annmarie is a feminist and diversity & inclusion advocate. So whether this was true or not, I interpreted that statement as, “I’d never want to not present a woman with an opportunity.”

I’ve watched people intentionally and accidentally neglect this idea over the years, whether it’s an opportunity for a new client, networking, or even just a simple include-someone-in-a-meeting opportunity. It’s one of the reasons that women fall behind in the workforce. Someone with the best of intentions thinks, “Oh, she just had a baby. She won’t want to take that extra meeting or attend the after-work happy hour…” Or “She’ll be on maternity leave; it will be too much to assign her to that new product launch.”

This is a form of unconscious bias that isn’t necessarily intentional, but it’s important and has real-life impact on others’ lives (especially women’s).

So for this year’s International Women’s Day, and beyond… During a year where the female workforce is set back years because of covid, how can each one of us: men and women-alike, challenge our thinking, assumptions, and offers to never make a decision on someone else’s behalf? Especially a woman’s.

image from Marie Claire